Well, I felt the need to respond to this comment that appeared on the milspouse.com blog. Here’s a sample:
When [my husband] picked up the February 2009 issue of Military Spouse he was shocked to find that almost everything was geared towards the female spouse, and that “Mr. Mom” was the only segment for men like him. However, the title “Mr. Mom” was insulting. “How is he a Mr. Mom? He’s a father, a military spouse, a man supporting his wife. How does that make him Mr. Mom?” he questioned.
How indeed? “Mr. Mom” was not the title I submitted, but titles get changed often enough, so that’s not the issue. The issue is the unfortunate cultural connotation of that phrase.
Let’s unpack it, shall we?
Mr. Mom may be the point of origin of the Male As Hapless Doofus school of storytelling. Now it’s everywhere, especially in advertisements. The hidden message is that women can do anything, but give a man a house to keep, and he’ll make an utter fool of himself. And what’s aggravating about this is that it’s a tool that plays on women’s self doubts about their place in the world as a way to sell them stuff.
And this is why this kind of reference offends women, like my wife, who have fought hard to make sex a non-issue in their working lives. The idea of her husband as a bumbling father and homemaker calls into question her decision to have a career in the military.
What we’re doing messes with the status quo, and it’s not easy. Just like other military families, we’re making sacrifices, and that shouldn’t be diminished.
Now I should say that whoever put “Mr. Mom” at the top of my piece probably didn’t think about it this much. But I will also say that the editorial staff should have thought about it more.
After all, as Jenna wrote in her comment, the title of the magazine is Military Spouse, not Military Wife.
I was e-mailed by one of the staff members who told me the writer of this article chose that title. It appears they were decieving me.
It’s possible that a copy editor changed the title and that the person who e-mailed you was not aware of it.
At this point I think it’s important to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Mistakes happen all the time.
I’m amused by this because Jon and I have been been commenting lately about how men are portrayed in the media, especially commercials: they have “stupid husband brain” (or stoopid husben bwain, as we generally say it). Men can’t seem to figure out the oven/stove, get kids to soccer practice, or properly use a vacuum/dust cloth. It’s definitely insulting.
We have a good friend who stays home with his 3 young girls, but a “Mr. Mom” he is not. They HAVE a wonderful, loving mother, who just happens to be the one who provides the monetary means to support their family–is she a “Mrs. Dad” because she works all day? In this country (and certainly in America’s military), where being politically correct is essential, I wonder how “Mr. Mom” slipped through the cracks….