My new post is up at the Milspouse blog: Are Male Spouses Really ‘Doing Fine’?
I get the sense sometimes that, because military husbands are in the minority, we get ignored. And when we are mentioned, it’s often in a dismissive way. Introductions to books about military spouse stuff offhandedly mention, for example, that the vast majority of spouses are female and so the author chose to use the term ‘military wife’ for convenience. Or a survey will note that it doesn’t reflect the input from male spouses because there are so few. Or Sarah Smiley will lament the loss of her Navy Wives club.
(Sarah Smiley and I both write for Military Spouse Magazine and for the corresponding blog, and I find her writing funny and charming and smart. But that column annoyed me.)
Yeah, I found that column very annoying too and mentioned it on my blog as well. She thought she was being slick or cute by pining on and on for the good old days and putting in enough caveats to be able to deny any accusations.
The Navy is rich with tradition and history. But it is not an artifact where things do not change! I do not understand why she appeared to be so threatened by a name change as though it was the downfall of civilization.
I agree with you both, except you’re both being far too kind to that column.
I could say so much if I didn’t have a house full of boxes and a wife who will deploy before we can possibly finish getting this place squared away…
The problem with the column is her nostalgia for a time and a way of life that alienated male spouses and female service members.